I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
