can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
