What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
