At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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