They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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