I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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