Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
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how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
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He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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