She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
