I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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