Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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