ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
this boner is exhausting
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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