hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
