Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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