i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
