Sry I called you an 8
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
be right there i have to get my cape
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
