Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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