they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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