Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Your dad touched me again.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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