we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
