My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
