Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
where are my eyebrows?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
