He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
