well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
