today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
