Why are handjobs necessary in class?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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