Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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