Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
