You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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