hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
