Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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