His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
