btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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