Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
