would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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