a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize