He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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