Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
