it hurts more in the daytime
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
