Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
