Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
