How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
