break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
