O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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