the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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