big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
