i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
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yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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