We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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