The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
