Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
