There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
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i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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