Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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