He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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