wrigley field is MILF paradise
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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