mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Michael Bay diarrhea
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
