y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
